Yellow M&M’s and Trainers (1)

Hey guys, it’s been a while, and I apologize for the missing post last week. I am glad to say that I’m still alive and kicking. While this post isn’t a travel/food post, nor the misadventures of Dr. Heimler, it’s one regarding something that’s close to my heart: exercise.

I used to weigh 82 kilos when I was fifteen, waistline of 37 inches. In short, I was the fat kid, bottom five in PE, a walking black hole for all manner of junk food, and abhorred physical activity in general. This all changed when I was sixteen, when I had my second crush 🙂

Firing hormones initiated a maniacal mental struggle that ultimately compelled the fat f*ckr in the mirror to do some stupid shit.

Here’s how it went down:

  1. Make a commitment to attain a Bruce Lee physique in three months.
  2. Wake up at 5 in the morning and run two miles before heading off to school.
  3. Beg your uncle for his spare set of 6 kg dumbbells.
  4. Have no idea what to do with said dumbbells aside from bicep curls (which you don’t even have the strength to perform lmao).
  5. Attempt basic lifts with dumbbells and injure yourself.
  6. Make no dietary changes.
  7. Feel like a dumbass.

I lost two kilos in three months, could finally curl 6 kilos, and could probably recite the entirety of Eminiem’s Recovery album in my sleep. I thought I’d end up like Bruce Lee after all that work, I became a slightly skinnier Asian James Corden instead. The worst part was that I got placed in the dreaded F R I E N D Z O N E.

Seven years down the line, thinking about it makes me chuckle on the inside, like watching at a kid fall in a sand pit trying to do his first handstand. So I got curious and decided to do an experiment, which I urge you, the reader, to try out for yourself. 

What you’ll need:

  1. A dose of I N T E R N E T, available wherever your smart phone is. Alternatively, a pack of M&Ms will suffice, available in your local stores until the day the sun turns into a red giant.
  2. A pair of trainers/sports shoes.
  3. A sports app to track the amount of calories burnt. I recommend MyFitnessPal for its versatility. Alternatively, a treadmill with a calorie counter works too, but the results won’t be as accurate.


  1. Spare some time in your day, get your bum off that couch.
  2. Turn on that running app/ calorie meter before you begin your 5 km run. This is the most crucial step.
  3. Now run like hell. If you are not used to it, you’ll curse me for this, but Just Do It.
  4. Go to wherever the M&M’s are, and read up the nutrition label. Pay close attention to the calories incurred per 100 g serving, and the amount of sugar in those sweet little bastards.
  5. Compare how many calories you burnt versus how many calories are in a pack of M&M’s.


Add  incline at your own risk. I chose 15 degrees all the way through for maximum burn.
More than half a pack of these is pure sugar. That’s akin to 5-6 teaspoons of the stuff.

Conclusion: 3 M&M’S = 1 LONG WORKOUT (estimate). I came to this, which is the takeaway for this post:


While I do still enjoy M&M’s, I never looked at them the same way again.

The author does not advocate any drastic action taken on the spur of a moment, but highly recommends that the reader rethink their dietary choices upon a full analysis. To get a better overview of one’s metabolic and caloric state, the author recommends checking out the individual basal metabolic rate (BMR) for a more complete picture before taking any action.


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